Setting the scene.
You sigh when you think about a cuddle, nuzzle, snug, or just the old fashion curl up with your special person. Evening embraces after a long day at work. Afternoon delight as you rest your head in the crook of your partners arm. Morning snuggles as you delay the inevitable start to the day.
A cuddle evokes a sense of connecting with your loved one. Or does it?
Replaying a memory.
Let’s examine what happens when we cuddle. Replay one of your cuddle memories. Bring it to your mind. Maybe it is the one from this morning, or that long embrace on the weekend. Picture that snuggle, the warmth either from the sun or the heat of the fire, or the heat of their body. In your visualisation did your head lie alongside their arm? Or were you tucked up against the front of their body? As you recall this memory, experience the sensations that coursed through you.
NOW, Ask yourself this question.
“What were you thinking about, in that memory?”
Are you thinking about the sensations in your body? Are you thinking about how relaxed you are? Is your mind drifting and freewheeling? Are your thoughts thinking about what you are avoiding or what you are to do next?
Once you have identified what you were thinking about.
Who was I thinking about?
Were you thinking; how good you felt? Were you thinking about the day you have just had or the day ahead? If you said yes, then you are not alone.
Guess what, your co-cuddlier is also thinking the same thing.
Cuddles that are enjoyable occur when you seek and receive cuddles from another. The cuddle is a self-seeking form of comfort and pleasure.
So know that, when you are cuddling it is for your comfort and your partner is providing this. When they seek a snuggle it is for their comfort and you are the provider.
We are comfort-seeking creatures and there is no harm in asking for a cuddle. It is only when we ASSUME the cuddle means more than it provides. That we will start the trickle of disharmony in our relationship.
Do not be afraid to enjoy your cuddle now that you know what it really means.
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Author – Adrienne Gulliver